Yesterday was my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!! Yeah! So exciting! Since August is a weird month for me, we weren’t planning a big celebration. I was overwhelmed with the idea of just getting a card—let alone coming up with something special. We also didn’t want to throw me off of my routine by going out of town. So we just decided we’d wait till the end of September, which is when we met.
However, when Sunday came around I was feeling pretty good so we took off on a spontaneous road trip to all of our favorite places—it was a blast! I got an awesome turquoise watch (that actually matches my “One Wave at a Time” bracelet—because matching is the most important thing to me!) and almost made it through dinner without spilling on myself. Almost. I got chocolate cake on my calves. Really? Who knows how I do these things?!
But it was a good lesson for us—keeping the day open is a good way to do it. That way we can just base what we do on how I’m feeling that day. And I don’t have the pressure of pulling together the present and card and making it super special. *sigh of relief*
So after a year of marriage—I’m an expert (I wish!). However, in typical Nicole fashion, our first year of marriage was a series of huge waves! Depending on the day (or hour!) it was either the best thing we’d ever experienced, or the hardest. I’m hoping this upcoming year we’ll take some time to relax on the sand, enjoy the sun, while Sidney reads the latest Harvard Business Review and I try to get him to talk to me.
There have been a lot of lessons learned, unfortunately none I could write a book about. Instead, they are all lessons we learned about how the other functions. For example:
- Don’t try to fall asleep in Sidney’s arms. His body goes through a series of twitches that resemble his “seizure” dance. Please don’t ask him to ever show you that—he will. And you’ll be scared for life.
- Pour the bacon grease into the jar while it’s still hot. Don’t let it cool off in the pan. According to Sidney—is there any other way to do this?!
- Sidney does not get in the shower before me. First, he takes longer and I’ll be late for work for sure. Second, I am not functional before my shower (according to Sidney I’m actually very crabby! But that’s nothing but a vicious rumor!!)
- Until you have shut Sidney’s computer, turned off his phone, and made eye contact for a solid minute, he’s not listening to you.
- To get Sidney to show up at something, you have to send him a calendar invite. I’m pretty sure he even puts his bathroom breaks on there.
Like I said, not overly useful advice for you—but let me say it was life changing for us!
There have been some pretty important lessons related to being a bipolar wife though. I’ve discussed my marriage and this topic in several other posts, but looking back on the year these are the three main lessons I’ve learned.
- Warn him of your incoming moods. One time I texted him while I was going home that “It’s not you. But I’m just plain pissed off today”. When I got home he had plugged in my heating pad, handed me my snuggie and says “You can have the TV—I’m just going to go over here…out of the way”. Haha At least he knew to stay away from Hurricane Nicole!
- Explain your feelings/thoughts as best as possible: You could even start your own blog, for six months my hubby was the only one who had the link to mine—and if you do make sure to follow me so I can find you!
- REMEMBER: As lucky as you are to have him, he is JUST as lucky to HAVE YOU! You are a person who struggles with a mental illness. It doesn’t define you—and living well with it makes you an amazing person. A person who he’s blessed to have.
These three tips are way more helpful. You’re welcome.
To be continued next year……when maybe I really will be the expert!